It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize