did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
