K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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