I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just pee around me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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