why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
