I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I can't turn off my feet"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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