How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
