Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She's the barista slut.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
