Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize