I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
