i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize