woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
