evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
