you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
