actually, I'm a sock model
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
