he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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