im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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