OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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