what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
