Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
