so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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