Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
