is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
