Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
