Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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