my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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