i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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