he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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