Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
