Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
