It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
