Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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