Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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