unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
