i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
