May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
ugly people sure do ruin things
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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