I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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