I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
