my sisters under your porch take her home
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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