Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
