I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize