please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
