you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
