the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
