I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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