C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
