Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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