We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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