honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
