i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
