that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
