Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
