i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
