Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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