my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
