Can Purell be used as lube?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize