I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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