Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
