I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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