Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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