Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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