I'm going to jail i love you
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
