We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
