And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
