Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize