it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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