why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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