Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
