I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
