she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
