my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
