Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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