your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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