NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
