Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
