So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
