There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
