was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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