Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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