I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
